Halfway There

There has been a news about a break through in curing AIDS.  It is said that there has been a cure already for the deadly disease.

I personal don't want that to happen, it's because if ever there would be a cure for the said disease the rate of unprotected sex would really changed dramatically.  People may think its okay to have sex with anybody, anytime and anywhere since there is a cure for it like any other diseases.  The boundary for us to know that life is not just all about sex will be gone to dust.  How horrible is that? Many families and relationships would be broken to pieces.

I know I may sound exaggerating but come to think of it, what would happen if AIDS has a cure?  What will happen to the world?  Please leave your comments and views about the cure for AIDS.

I was just 17 when I started to venture on same sex. I heard stories from my peers and neighbor that gays are good in giving you a head. I was curious and I fantasized that to happen to me. Since then whenever I masturbate I would imagine that a gay guy would suck mine. I don't know why but every time I heard stories about two men having sex, would really make me arouse. Later on I was on an identity crisis.

As the years pass I decided maybe I was just curious then. So I set myself that I would only fuck boys and love girls -- in short I was "TOP." Someone had introduced me to "MIRC," an internet char relay. There I learned some room where I can find some guys to experiment with -- with same sex. I was young, so many of the guys would really want me. I had several sex encounters being top. I had fucked several cute guys and some curious guys like me. Some were younger that me but most of them are older than me. I enjoyed being Top, watching the face reaction of my partner, enjoying my bottom suck and ride mine.

Years later, I decide to have a fuck buddy(fubu) since during that time HIV was rampant. I thought having one sexual partner would be safer. Anyways, I met guy who wanted the same. We had hot sweaty sex every time we do it. He was versatile and I was top. We've been together for about 3 months, we were like a couple already. With in that 3 months my partner got bored with our role. So he told me, to try sucking his. I was hesitant and I was really disgusted. He made me do it, he forced me, he held my head let his, "his" into my mouth. I was about to puke after that.

Weeks had gone, we never talked to each other and or even communicate. Until such time that I missed sucking his jewel. I don't know got into me but I missed it. He talked to me first and ask for an apology, he said he was just horny that time and his tired of being a bottom. I accepted his apology and told him to teach me how to suck. He was startled and confused. I was confused too but it felt good whenever I imagine sucking his jewel. So, without hesitation he taught me how to suck. And I learned. If his not that I cute I would really not going to suck him. As a normal relationship ours died to its natural death. We parted each other after 3 months.

After that every time someone would ask me what's role in bed, I would answer versa since I already learned how to suck. So, I was sexually active again in the chat room with my new role. I don't suck a lot, only if my partner would be irresistible. I had several partners again. Until such time courted me and wanted me to be his boyfriend. I hesitant again, because I told my self that I'm not gay. I would not love a boy, but I would only fuck him. But I failed, I learned to love him. His the very first guy that I fell in love with. During that time I accepted my self that I'm not straight anymore. But our relationship didn't last long.

So, I get back to business and return to my vice -- sex. Back into the chat room and fuck again some teenage boys. I was 19 y.o. when I met a guy who deflowered me. He was 4 years older than me. At first he told me that he was a bottom and want me to fuck him. We decided to meet on a lodging house. And that was a nightmare, he raped me, forced me to received his. I was crying but I can't do anything his bigger than me. After that incident I decided to revenge to anyone, I don't know why but I really wanted to revenge. I've met several young tops whose smaller than me, and I forced them to receive mine. I was satisfied seeing them cry with pain. Then I repent, its not their fault why I was deflowered it was mine, so I stopped doing that. I was sexually dormant for about a year.

Then I entertained some relationship, some were a happy relationship with love but most of them was just pure lust. I had this partner who taught me to be a bottom. I was in love with him so whenever he wants me to fuck, I would agree. I gave him my all but eventually he abandoned me. He chose his career over me. During this relationship I was the bottom.

Now I have a new partner and I also love him so much. He is a versa and I am too. But every time we had sex, he's the top and I am the bottom. I don't know why but If I see my partner is satisfied the I am satisfied too. Even though I really wanted to fuck him or let him suck mine, I would sacrifice that just for him to be satisfied.

A love match between a Cancer and a Pisces is a positive meeting of spirits. Both signs are basically tolerant and sympathetic, and Pisces is easily energized by Cancer's ideas. A Pisces mate can open a Cancer's eyes to the world of creativity and spirituality. In turn, Cancer's practicality can be a guide, leading Pisces to the fruition of their dreamy, utopian ideas. This celestial pairing benefits from an amazingly strong and multifaceted emotional bond.

Cancer loves material goods, they admire and they appreciate. Cancer desires comfort and a rich home, and at times might not understand the simplistic, minimalist lifestyle of their Pisces mate. Though they may work toward different goals of acquisition and lifestyle, the shared emotional depth of Cancer and Pisces can make theirs a very rewarding relationship.

The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, and Jupiter (Philosophy) and Neptune (Illusion and Dreams) rules Pisces. When the Moon and Neptune come together, a beautiful spiritual connection is made. Both of these celestial bodies vibrate with warm, feminine energy. Together, they create an idealistic, almost divine relationship, one that puts much significance on dreams and illusions. Jupiter also rules Pisces. This Planet of Good Fortune adds a masculine energy to this planetary combination, representing philosophy, expansion and excesses. The nature of this combination offers a utopian relationship: It is drenched in emotional intrigue and is a true celestial bond. Emotion, depth, warmth, expansion --
it all sounds too good to be true, doesn't it. Though they both ask a lot of their love relationships, Cancer must be careful not to cramp the floating Fish, as Pisces will suffocate under too many demands.

Cancer and Pisces are both Water Signs. Since Water is a tangible, physical entity, Cancer and Pisces are generally very compatible. Pisces are in this world to create human connections, and when they come together with Cancerian intuition and nurturing, there is no stronger bond. So that this union does not wash out in a stream of romantic idealism, Cancer's stable view of life holds them afloat. And it's not a case of Cancer putting up with a dreamy Pisces mate: Cancer really understands emotional ambiguity and can help Pisces stabilize their ephemeral nature. Though Cancer could grow weary of their Pisces mate's faraway nature, and though Pisces could be bothered by Cancer's self-centeredness, it's easy for this pair to find a compromise.

Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Pisces is a Mutable Sign. Though intuitive, in love, as in life, Cancer likes to get things moving with a good idea and a solid plan, and they'll write it all down to keep track. Pisces, on the other hand, is more about going on instinct; they'd lose that plan as soon as Cancer handed it to them! Cancer needs to give Pisces the freedom to enjoy their external interests and to occasionally follow a whim undeterred. Pisces can show Cancer that completion is sometimes better than initiation, and that compromise without struggle can pay off. Cancer and Pisces feed off of each other's energy well, and should be completely compatible in romance.

What's the best thing about the Cancer-Pisces love match? Their similar emotional natures. Both have a great capacity for emotion and compassion, and both can act as teacher AND student. They complement and harmonize with one another very well. The overall empathy and commitment that these two Signs value in a relationship is what will keep the ties strong and long lasting between the Crab and the Fish.

Last week, he(my boyfriend) suggested that on our monthsary, we would stay on a beach resort to celebrate that event. I was so happy and excited that I've waited for that day to come. I changed all my plans, cancelled all my activities that would affect our day and even backed out on a free Bohol trip with my former teammates. We bumped some little problems like our budget and the place we should stay at. So, I did everything I looked for a cheaper resort that would fit for his budget. I asked him if is it okay that we would look for someone that we could share with, so that our expenses would not be that big. He said yes. I was able to find a person that is willing to share expenses with us and it was all set. I was able to sleep happily, so excited for the day to come. I told myself cancelling my activities and appointments would not be useless at all because I would be with my love one for our monthsary.

September 4, 2009 -- It was almost noon when I woke up. I happily greeted him good morning and said I love you. We were exchanging sms smoothly, until he told me that our plan might not be pursued because they'll be having a team building. I was startled and disturbed. All of the sudden I was very very mad to him. I told foul words that I almost cursed him. I was so disappointed at him. I argued with him and told him all the bad things that I can say. I told him all the efforts and sacrifices I made just to make sure that our plan will pursue. I was really angry. I was in a bad hair day!

I went to school with an angry face that nobody would want to talk to me. I still argued with him through sms, even if I'm in class. I can't concentrate. I was full of anger, it feels like I wanna kill somebody. I told him that we should meet after my class and talk about it. And we did, we went to this mall and talk there. I let out all my emotions, my disappointments ang my anger to him, and he was just silent that irritated me most. But I was able to cool down after letting out all I want to say. I told him that we should go private because I want to hug him. He said yes, and we rode a jeepney to get there. At the middle of our travle he told me that we won't pursue it because he has a headache. And there I flared up again because for the third time he disappoints me. When I the jeepney stopped I hurriedly went out and left him.

The reason why I flared up so much is because I expected to much. I got jealous because he chosed his teammates over me. I am so possesive that I want all his attention. I also got irritated when he told me that I was just looking for a flaw on him so that I could break up with him. I was really in pain when he said that. And I was blinded with my anger that I didn't care for him. But still I love him so much. I know I have a short commings too.